My Miracles

...but that's not what this post is about. I am happy for them.

It brings to my mind once again the thought that I am not ready to start trying for another child yet though. Anna had the same due date as me and Mackynzie was born just a few days before my Anna.

I also know others who are pregnant who have little ones the same age or even younger than my Anna. There are also those whose children are Anna's age who are not pregnant, but there are quite a few who are.

No one is pressuring me but the questions have already started "When do you think you'll have more?" I don't know. Honestly, I don't. I'm not bothered by the question. I am just so happy being Anna's mom, there are times that I can't picture even having another child in the picture at all! I feel like she is it sometimes, like she just makes our family complete. I do think we'll try for one more but I think it's going to be later than what it seems like most "expect." Not too long, but I am not in a rush to start trying again. It's just not even in my realm of thinking right now.

Part of it is definitely just not being ready to go through a c-section again and the recovery process and wanting Anna to be older for that but the bigger thing really is just wanting to be with Anna. Sometimes I almost feel bad about that, like I am being selfish for wanting to wait and just spend time with Anna. Anyone else feel that way?

I thought I was just lucky and we were not going to have to deal with this... I no longer think that's the case. Anna now sometimes, not always, cries when one of us leaves the room (today even though I was holding her she cried because Chad went outside!).

She cried when I left her in nursery today for the first time ever! That broke my heart! I don't mean that she hasn't cried in a long time when I left her in nursery, I mean she NEVER has! I started putting Anna in nursery at around 10 months and she just today cried (and tried to follow me!) as I left for the first time! I didn't cried but I'll admit that I started to get a little misty! Poor baby! She was fine though, I checked on her a bit later and they told me after that they picked her up and she was fine right after I left. Oh my baby!

The hardest thing definitely is nighttime though. Anna has slept 12 hours a night since she was 6 months old but the last couple of weeks she has been waking up once a night again. I think it started out because of her teeth, she has gotten 3 teeth in the last month, with at least 3 more on their way, but now I think she just wants me! I think it's kind of partly a separation anxiety thing! If I go in, pick her up and rock her just for a few seconds and then put her back down, she cries for a minute then goes right back to sleep! She needs to go back to knowing how to out herself back to sleep! It's funny how once you have a good rhythm they go and change things up again! She is also starting to decide not to nap very well either, kind of doing the same thing. Ugh! We'll get back there though, babies, are amazingly resilient! Ah the joys of motherhood!

I know I mentioned the fact that Anna is being weaned in my last post but it's something that is very much a part of my life right now.

Anna has never been a great breastfeeder. Around 3 and a half months she went on a nursing "strike" refusing to breastfeed at all except during the overnight and the first feeding in the morning. She did that for a week and a half. Before that she would fuss every time to latch on, which made nursing in public impossible. After the strike though she really seemed to "get it" and didn't fuss to latch on anymore! From then on she was really good but around 6 months she started refusing feedings or feeding for very short periods. By 9 months she had cut herself down to 3- 5 minute feedings during the day and a bottle before bed. There was not much I could do about it but she continued to grow and gain weight (I think my milk has a pretty high fat content) so the doctor told us it was fine. I am glad that Anna has breastfed this long. My goal was always to go 6-9 months with 12 months being the ideal. There were several times when I didn't think we'd make it but we have come this far!

At 9 months we decided that since we made it that far we really wanted to try to wean straight to milk and skip formula altogether. The doctor had told us that if we weaned after 10 months we could do that. I wanted to wait to start giving her milk in her cup until 11 months but we started making her cereal with whole milk at about 10.5 months. We also started giving her breastmilk in a cup (thus eliminating a feeding) at the same time. At 11 months we eliminated the second daytime feeding and she started having 1-1.5 cups of breastmilk and half to one cup of whole milk. This week I stopped pumping in the mornings and she is getting whole milk in her cups for lunch, snack and dinner. She still breastfeeds in the morning and will continue that for awhile. She also will continue to get breastmilk in her bedtime bottle until there is none left. Next week I will stop pumping at night and we'll just use the frozen supply till it's gone (probably 2-3 weeks).

It's a bittersweet time. On one hand I am proud that we came this far and to some extent am happy to be getting my life (and my body!) back, but on the other hand, those were sweet times to just sit and be quiet and cuddle with my baby. I will still have the mornings, and I think that one will be hard for me to give up! I will NOT miss pumping twice a day! Actually it has been somewhat strange to get back that hour in my morning. I have decided to use it to exercise. I have started doing Wii Fit in the morning and hope to continue! Once I am doing better at that (I am SO out of shape) I will move on to pilates. I don't know what I'll do with the hour in the evening, probably relax. That one will be really strange, as I have been pumping every evening for much longer! There were times when I would skip a morning session but I never skipped an evening session! I am looking forward to being done though with that but I am glad that because of that she will get my milk a bit longer.

Breast really is BEST!

Ok I really intended to do much better with this blog! :-P I even have my iPod set to remind me to blog every Monday! Hmmmm need to work on that...

We have a busy couple of months coming up here! I can't believe my little baby girl is going to be a year old in less than a month! Aaaahhhhh!! She is getting so close to walking! She stands quite steadily on her own and has taken a step or two here and there. She does great walking pushing her push toy or pushing the excersaucer across the room! She is such a joy and the apple of her parent's eyes!

For her birthday party we decided to do 2 and a half parties! We'll do one with Chad's side of the family (that one is first) then another with my side. The half party comes from a little pizza and cake party we'll have while on vacation visiting friends.

I am also weaning Anna. By the time we go to NY in October she will be down to one feeding first thing in the morning. I will also be done pumping twice a day! Right now she is only taking that one feeding and had one cup of breastmilk and one cup of whole milk plus a bottle of breastmilk at night. We will probably keep that one feeding in the morning for some time, who knows how long but it is a sweet time for both of us.


The other part of our busyness is our first family vacation! We are going to NY to visit friends. We are so looking forward to it but there is a lot to pack! Holy cow!! We are excited!

Anna has a definite need to move! As with most babies, I think, she won't be restrained (whether in a car seat, high chair or even in our arms!) for very long periods. She likes to be free and be able to crawl and explore. We have found that if we have a day that we are out and about and she doesn't get those opportunities she will get increasingly fussy as the day goes on. We found this at a party we went to that was outside but it was raining so she had to be either in our arms or in a stroller under the tents. She was miserable! Often when she is getting fussy because she wants to get out of something (usually a high chair), we will joke as we out her down "Go Anna! Be a free range baby!"

The reason I explain this is that when we first started thinking about her first birthday party some months ago we had thought about having it at a nearby restaurant (Jumpin' Juice and Java, for you locals!) but when I started to consider it again recently I realized that I could not just let her roam around there! It would be no fun for her at all! We need to have it in a place where she can be a free range baby! We have a small house so I think this is going to actually mean having 2 separate birthday parties for her, one for family and one for friends. That will be much better for her as it will be less people and in a familiar environment.

Anna is 10 months today! Time does fly! Love this baby!! <3

I went back to the gym today! This was the first time since sometime during my first trimester of pregnancy that I went! When I first got pregnant I had every intention of going but exhaustion and then body aches prevented me.

After Anna was born I wanted to wait until she was crawling to bring her to the child watch. Well, she is crawling (very well I might add!) and we went last week but child watch was not open so we went today. It felt so good ton be active again! Anna did ok, though we need to work on the timing a bit, she was ready for a nap. I am hoping they have more times for child watch in the fall.

One of the benefits of Chad's new job has been the ability to rejoin the YMCA. They have great kids programs and obviously a child watch so I can work out. In the fall I want to sign Anna and I up for a parent / child swim class. The class is basically about getting the baby used to being in the water, they don't actually start learning to swim until age 3. I am excited about it, I think Anna will be really into it, she loves the water and I think they do music and movement type things in the water, which I also think she'll enjoy.

I guess this just reminds me of how important it is to be active and get involved in things when you're a stay at home mom. Especially with little ones, it can be a very isolating role. It is good for Anna and for me when we go to playgroups, swim classes and even things like child watch at the gym or MOPS / Moppets where we are not necessarily together. It gives her exposure to different people and situations that she doesn't get just staying at home.

Ok baby awake! Mommy out!

Anna is always discovering! I love it! I love watching her learn new things! Watching her learn how to crawl and stand and even babble was amazing! She used to sit in her swing staring in awe into the mirror an just coo at herself, it melted me every time! It's jus,t so neat to watch her learn all these things, that we take for granted for the very first time!

A perfect example of this came the other day when my mom was here. She was sitting on my mom's lap facing her and started looking at her hands. We thought it was cute, though at 9 months old, she "discovered" her hands long ago. All of a sudden she started clapping them together! We had not prompted this at all! It was the cutest thing! I almost cried! Love it! Welcome to my blog!